Dislikes & a Long Unanswered Question

Two of my least favorite things in the world, experienced in the space of 5 mins:

1) Big ass truck in the lot with a park job that looks like the driver was using the Force.....badly. Don't people have a basic perception of what's going on around them....full employee parking lot, mid-morning, I am taking up 2 spaces....

2) Walking directly behind 2 women exiting the parking garage. Not more than 3 ft. I am not tiptoeing. I left the ninja suit at home. There is clearly a person behind them about to follow them through a door. Lady pushes the door, walks through, lets it fly shut in my face.

I understand that the world is not black and white. Things used to be blacker and whiter. I'm talking medieval times-used-to-be. In today's world, double standards abound and nothing less can be expected these days just because our world is changing and progressing, at least more than it was in 1300 AD. I guess what I'm saying is that people make an observation: "chivalry is dead." I don't believe chivalry is dead. I think I have chivalrous traits. I always check behind me as I go through doors. I will pull chairs out at the table for a lady or an elder. I never hesitate to give up a seat for someone who may feel more relief from sitting than myself. You know, as I come up with examples, I'm realizing that what I'm referring to as "chivalry" is actually just shades of good manners, respect, and compassion. I think in the bygone days of harder living, positions in society were much more rigidly defined and hence, a code of behavior was necessary. Our 1st world Western society is what I call "softer": less definition to who's who and what's what, there are general feelings of people can be what they want to be, and tolerance for differences are improving.

Just to go back, what did I mean by double standards? One single example is with women and the issue of chivalry. (Some) women complain about today's man lacking chivalrous characteristics: the boyfriend who doesn't think to offer a hand when stepping around a puddle, the husband who seats himself at a restaurant while his wife sheds her own coat and pulls out her chair. At the same time, women demand to be treated as equals (and which they absolutely should because they....we are all just humans) and sometimes these two standards collide. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement; it's just one example, and probably a unique issue to this time in history which has seen so many women stepping of household-only roles and into the workplace-at-large. So.....I guess we'll see.

A second less serious example is something I've always been curious about, but have never brought it up face-to-face with women: the toilet seat. Here are the facts: the toilet is an appliance for men and women to use. Women need to have the seat down to use it always. Men need to have it down sometimes. Yet women insist that men should put the seat down after they use it. Are there any men out there insisting that women return the favor and put the seat UP after they are done? I think not. If a man uses the toilet to urinate and sees that the seat is down, he lifts it, goes, washes, leaves. Let's say a woman uses it next to urinate and sees that the seat is up. She lowers it, goes, washes, leaves. Each human has done the same amount of work to complete the task. Difficult? No.

Of course, there are men out there who don't lift the seat. And there are the guys who don't lift, don't aim, splatter all over the seat, and leave. Bad apples do exist, what can I say. And they do exist in both barrels, ladies. Not in the form of women peeing on toilet seats though. Dammit, I hate how you have to explain every little thing on the internet because it's so easy to misinterpret cold, inflectionless text.

But seriously now: why do women expect men to raise a lowered seat, then lower it again while women are only expected to lower a seat then walk off? I mean it's a small thing and I'm not about to write my senator about it, but it begs the question: what is chivalry? what is equality? Good manners, conscientiousness?

The bigger picture of the post has to do with cultural norms and how they differ from people to people. Happily, if you travel to new lands and are a mostly well-adjusted, open-minded, non/minimally judgemental person, you ought to have no problems getting along. Every now and then, though, you learn about the way things are done in that new place which rubs you the wrong way. I guess that's part of the adventure. Makes me sort of nervous about my upcoming trip, though.